The first, and possibly only presidential debate between President-Elect Kamala Harris and President Trump is being held on September 10th and will be broadcast on ABC.
Now, of course we want President Trump to absolutely demolish Kamala, but to be "fair," we asked our GOP Jesus Followers what hard-hitting questions Kamala could ask of President Trump, knowing that he would effortlessly bat them away like the petty irksome mosquitoes they are.
Here are some of the suggestions my Followers came up with.
Opening
"Thank you for hosting this debate, and thank you to convicted felon Donald's probation officer for granting him a pass to be here this evening."
Rapey Don
Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of ideas that fall under the general category best summarized as, "Rapey Don."
- How many women have you raped?
- Did you and Epstein tag team or double up when you raped girls?
While true, questions like this might make Kamala appear callous or crass especially since she's female. Sexism is alive and well in America.
TV Ratings
- Did you know my CNN interview ratings were through the roof and beat Fox News' ratings by a lot that night?
Small Hands
- My crowds are massively bigger than yours.
- Extra points to bring it up while making "Obama hand gestures."
What's in a Name?
- Refer to him repeatedly as the "convicted felon Trump."
- Don't call him "President" Trump. Just "Donald," or "Trump."
Laugh at Him, Call Him Weird
Everyone knows how insecure President Trump is and that he absolutely can't stand being laughed at. LIkewise, everyone is familiar with Kamala's joyous laugh. She could take every opportunity to simply start laughing at him whenever he goes off on some crazed tangent, or mentions windmills, sharks, or E-boat batteries, or "the late, great Dr. Hannibal Lecter."
Whenever he insults here, ask him, "Are you okay?" and look genuinely concerned for his well-being.
And of course there's the whole "weird" thing. Work that in at every opportunity: "That's just weird," and leave it at that.
Speaking of Sharks
- Wear a shark lapel pin.
- Put a D-Cell battery on her lectern, but don't say anything about it.
Convicted?
- Someone had the brilliant idea for Kamala to say that he has "31 convictions" when it's actually 34. See if he corrects her.
Abortion
"Donald was for abortion rights before he was against them and then just the other day he was against Florida Amendment 4 before he was for it the next day. How can you believe anything he says?"
Switching up pro and con will confuse him and make him say something stupid.
Remember Melania?
- Ask where's Melania?
- Does Melania support your candidacy?
- Refer to her as "Melanie," which is something he did once.
In His Own Words
Use his own language back at him. "Many people are saying..."
- Tell him he was "horrible" at handling the pandemic.
- Tell him his administration was a "disaster."
- Tell him he wasn't good enough to be POTUS once and he's still not good enough.
- Tell him his vocabulary is very small. Everyone says so.
- Ask him to name some "Black jobs."
Fox News' Jesse Watters Advice
- "The only thing that's going to put Trump on the defensive is if you say he went bankrupt [six times] or he's a bad golfer."
Finally
She's doing just fine already. "Next question, that's it."
Enjoy the debate, everyone!